Big's eternal quest for knowledge and food
by Lord Danaelus
Summary: This is my first sonic story ever! REVIEW I COMMAND YOU!


BIG'S eternal quest for a brain... and food.

Big was lazing about one morning, just after breakfast wondering what he should have for afterfast (meal after breakfast), brunch, lunch, lundernoon tea (in between afternoon tea and lunch), afternoon tea, dinner, dinert (in between dinner and dessert), dessert and of course a second helping. Maybe a 24th helping too.

After his food rendevous and pig stuffing, big decided to read a book. He was reading about brain surgery, osteoperosis and cardiology. Of course, Having the miniscule brain that he did, he could barely read the word bone, let alone words such as lobotamy, cranium and cardiovascular. Big was just attempting to read the word leg but was thinking about chicken drumsticks when the doorbell rang. He opened up the door and Michael Jackson leapt in and started to moonwalk to the tune of Billie Gene that was being played from an unknown place. (probably big's gut). Michael Jackson came up to Big as Big started to cry. Big screamed and ran away. Michael Jackson was caught in an explosion the next day as he tried to assassinate the prime minister by strapping dynamite to him but unfortunatley for Mikey the prime minister was surrounded by a bomb-proof and Michael Jackson proof shield and also, the timer was set for five seconds and was already counting before Michael even got the straps ready.

Anyway, when Big was finished running (19 seconds later approx.) he had gained the scientific knowledge of how to spell inergalactic eternity (or so he thought). He made this into 'Big's scientific quest for knowledge and apreciated appreciativenessfulness' or so he'd called it. Days later Big had won the bronze medal for the really, really stupid people's simple word spelling contest. He had got 3 and a half words spelled correctly. The silver medalist got 4 and the winner got 473 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 (we think he might have been a little more experienced.)

Because big had been learnig how to do stuff, he'd slimmed down to a tiny 900 000 000lbs. He used to be 1 000 000 000lbs. "Hmmmm" big thought he should buy a cheeseburger or two hundred. Not even Cheese the Chao could beat that.

After eating seven hundred, deep fried, salty boo and 99.9 fat full chip buckets, a tsunami worth of cola and a whole truck load of 100 processed cheeseburgers all wrapped up in a completely greasy bum-rag, big felt a wee bit off. "As you can see, ze subject is completely rotting avay because of ze cola in ze internal organs and his heart arteries are getting blocked because of ze vatty chips in ze bloodstream. He vill surely die.":or so Dr German guy says.

In the toilet, big was throwing up 400 litres of half-digested goo. Ceese the chao came in and threw up too except because he was only a baby chao, he only threw up a thimble's worth of vomit because he'd only eaten a little chip. Big now had diarrhoea and was tanning the walls of the toilet with a sickly brown colour. The little chao saw this and tried too but because he was so small he only put out about a thimble's worth of blue diarrhoea (he'd been drinking pepsi blue). Big's mess was a big brown room with a messy toilet bowl and Cheese's mess was a tiny little blue splat mark near the corner of the wall and a little splash of green in the toilet. Cheese now was a fluro green colour and Big was well... even more purple.

They waddled out of the fast food resturaunt and encountered Sonic. Cheese did a huge doombolt and sent Sonic into the wall. Big just farted. Cheese fired a huge flamethrower from his mouth and set Sonic on fire. Big just farted. Big's fart was caught on the end of Cheese's flame and made a huge explosion that made Sonic's insides ignite and implode. They then had a reverse effect which caused all of Sonic's digested content burst out of him and cause an explosion bigger than the Hindenburg's demise.

In the middle of a huge puddle of blood, gore and vomit sat an exhausted Big and Cheese chao.

"I'm hungry." Said Big. Cheese just fainted.

**If think that this is the very happy ending you are very much mistaken. What kind of a person would Vader the second be if he had ever allowed a happy ending in one of his stories? Let me tell you that the folliwing day Big got his head blown up by a tank that thought he was an invading _fat_ alien.**

**NOW _THIS_ IS THE END!**

**By vader the second.**


End file.
